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One way to resolve our guilt from mistakes made in marriage is to find a way to punish ourselves. If you feel you are trying to punish yourself in a relationship to feel the pain maybe you should look for the guilt as a motivation for staying in a painful relationship. It may be that your guilt is about not living up to a standard set by you, society, religion or significant person who contributed to your personal development.
When you are suffering from guilt you need to examine these standards to see if they are realistic for you in this time or place in your marriage. When the experience of guilt is too difficult we often feel afraid, anxious and fearful. A therapist can help you to address and minimize the feeling of guilt. Of course a supportive community can also help; being with others who accept us helps us to heal the guilt.
A marriage counselor or relationship counselor can be a significant part of this acceptance in the healing process. Our feelings of self-love should be explored with a therapist to determine its effect on our guilt.
In no small measure we may also need to experience and address our anger towards those that we feel have wronged us in our lives. In many situations a parent could be the person most in line for this anger we are unwilling to accept.